Picture a person meditating. Do you see someone sitting cross-legged in a grassy field with no regard for the bugs or blaring sun? Maybe there’s a monk in your mind’s eye. I wonder if you've ever seen yourself as the one sitting.

Meditation is a worthy endeavor

The benefits of meditating are well-documented in scientific literature, and the practice forms the backbone of most of the traditions that have influenced yoga. Buddha reached Enlightenment while meditating under the Bodhi tree. The Bhagavad Gita specifically refers to meditation multiple times. The Pashupati Seal, one of the oldest depictions of yoga in the archaeological record, shows a being (probably Shiva) in what appears to be a seated meditation posture. Meditation is one of the eight limbs of yoga in the Yoga Sutras. This list could continue indefinitely...

Hang around the yoga world long enough, and you'll run into a big ol' pile of meditation cushions. You don’t have to ascribe to a particular belief system or read peer-reviewed medical journals to have this facet of yoga impact your life. Regular meditation practice offers you the capacity to notice thought patterns while simultaneously developing compassion for yourself and others. The value of this pursuit for humanity can't be underscored enough.

It’s not all sunsets and saffron robes

Despite all this, I didn't become a consistent meditator until my early teaching days at Union Yoga. Like many of you, I'm the product of an achievement-oriented society. There was something else holding me back, too, and since I don’t often hear it discussed, I want to bring it into the light.

We arrive at our mats with unique biographies, which can dictate how we respond to the practices. The things I carried with me caused me to have anxiety symptoms every time I was instructed to close my eyes for savasana or meditation. Meditation was always worse because of the duration and the posture we were asked to hold.

(Trigger warning: Skip the next two paragraphs if reading about what that felt like would be too upsetting for you at this time.)

Upon closing my eyes, the uneasiness was immediate. Each inhalation and exhalation became forced. When I pushed these sensations away to avoid drawing attention to myself, the sweat poured off me like I'd just spent the last 60 minutes taking every optional vinyasa. The room was too hot, my mouth was full of cotton, my stomach hurt, my heart pounded, and every part of my body ached with a deep pain I had not felt since I was in the depths of my eating disorder struggle. At the same time, I was frozen. I had to follow the directions because that was in my programming. I didn’t even consider I could choose not to do something I was asked to do.

On top of the physical experience, my mind was rolling through all the ways I was failing as a human being. I was so embarrassed because everyone else seemed fine. It’s just sitting and doing nothing, right? This negative feedback loop kept me from embracing all that yoga can offer for many years.

Compassion + Knowledge

My goal for this post is twofold. Some readers might be surprised to know that their fellow practitioners can have this type of reaction, and I believe building awareness makes our space safer. I also want you to know that you’re not weird or a bad yogi if meditating is hard for you. Rex always says, “It’s yoga practice, not yoga perfect.” It takes practice to meditate too.

An empowered practice

For those struggling with meditation (either as beginners or because of trauma-related stuff), a few pieces of information can go a long way toward giving you the tools you need to find stillness. I can't guarantee they'll work for you, but they helped me.

Closing your eyes is optional

In meditation (and savasana) you can fix your gaze onto a stable point in the room in front of you. Shutting your eyes can block distractions for some, but it can just as easily create turbulence in the mind. Test out what feels grounding for you.

“A comfortable seat” means many different things

Sitting cross-legged is what we see in all the pictures, but it isn't a requirement. What we think of as the default position does not work for all bodies. Meditation is meditation whether you practice it lying down, sitting in a chair, seated on a folded blanket with your back leaning against a wall, or propped on blocks in Hero’s Pose.

There's no need to start with a marathon

Some people meditate daily for extended periods of time, but they didn't start out that way. Try meditating for five minutes. If that’s too long, scale it back until you can sit without feeling overwhelmed. You can always add time later.

You can’t be bad at meditation… no matter what your inner roommate says

In The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer describes the near-constant mental chatter in our brains as the “inner roommate.” The moment things start to get quiet, this person begins yammering.

Sometimes it’s benign stuff like, How long do we have to sit like this? or I need to run to Sprout’s and buy a vat of ghee. Before you know it, it's saying What kind of yogi are you? or Remember that thing that happened… or Are you even worthy of love? Yikes. The inner roommate can be ruthless.

Your task as the meditator is to locate the spot in your consciousness beyond external stimuli and beyond the inner roommate. If you engage with this talkative companion, you won't find stillness. By allowing thoughts to drift in and out of your awareness without judgment, that inner roommate eventually settles down. It takes plenty of practice, though, so give yourself lots of grace and compassion.

There are many ways to walk the path

There are various meditation techniques to get you to that quiet space. Some of them, walking meditation, for instance, don’t involve sitting at all.

I often recite a mantra to get into a meditative state. If I’m having a hard time feeling grounded, I’ll begin by saying the mantra out loud in connection with my breathing. After I feel steady, my recitations continue in silence. The mantra is the vehicle that takes me inward.

After trying different techniques, you’re bound to find one that gets you into the zone.

You may need additional support

Your teachers are always here to help. It’s okay to ask teachers what they do to feel grounded, or get some advice about how to adjust your practice to suit your needs. We love empowering students!

That being said, most yoga teachers are not trained mental health professionals. I bring this up because many of us are in recovery and do need to call on additional resources such as therapists when we're working through a tough spot. Use your discernment. Your Union Yoga community will support you in any way we can.

You will never stop learning if you keep showing up

I made an audio meditation (Always a Student #2: So Hum Meditation) to tie all these tips together. I include more language around options than you'd usually hear in group meditation settings. I did this to remind listeners that you have the power of choice at all times.

Meditating may be hard for you now, but if it’s something you want to learn more about, I encourage you to stay curious and try different things until you find what resonates. I'll be learning right alongside you.

How's your meditation practice?