Last week, we defined samskaras. (If you’d like a copy of that message, please reach out, and I’ll send it.) As a refresher, samskaras are “subliminal impressions of past experiences (Wallis 2013).” Samskaras originate from our joys and our traumas. Some lead to positive patterns, but others perpetuate suffering.
Why bother with samskaras?
As a wellness-oriented community focused on recovery from addiction and trauma, samskaras are particularly relevant to us. To explain why it’s important to identify the samskaras that spawn patterns of unwellness, here’s a poem by Portia Nelson that Sogyal Rinpoche cited in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying:
Autobiography in Five Chapters
1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in...it’s a habit.
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
5) I walk down another street.
Recognizing our samskaras allows us to see clearly enough to choose a different path.
Who’s to blame?
The one part of this poem that made me bristle was the use of the word “fault.” If you also cringed when you read it, try replacing “fault” with “samskara.” Blame, shame, and how those two things play into trauma and addiction are discussions for other days, but know that here we're pointing to the samskara, the incident that incited the behavior pattern, as the source of pain.
Just because our samskaras exist at a subconscious level, doesn’t mean that they get a pass. When I lived in Hawai'i, a baby mongoose broke into my house. As much as I was horrified and wanted to pretend it wasn't scrambling around in my closet, I still had to make that mongoose a fruit salad, lure it into a humane trap, and release it back to its mother in the wild.
The trick, then, is to catch these subconscious impressions so that they can no longer create negative outcomes. You can't set up humane traps to lovingly escort the samskaras from your subconscious mind. You do have yoga and mindfulness, though.
How to spot a samskara in the wild
Getting to the root of our samskaras can be a tall order. One of the best ways to notice the subconscious impressions shaping our world is by observing the niyama (one of the eight limbs of yoga; Niyamas are self-discipline that can lead us to a more harmonious life) called svadhyaya. The Yoga Sutras (2.32) define this term for us:
Svadhyaya is self-awareness. It requires a willingness to look deeply into ourselves so that we don’t stay stuck in what we habitually believe ourselves to be. This kind of deep investigation of the patterning of the mind leads to a connection with who we are as pure consciousness.
The Sutras (2.44), go on to tell us why this matters:
When one is grounded in svadhyaya, one finds the appropriate practice, life purpose, and path that resonates with one’s individual spirit…
I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty good to me.
The art of noticing
When I started writing about samskaras, I wanted to leave you with some precise methodology for how to spot and stamp out the things that no longer serve you. After reflecting on my own practice, watching lots of Gabor Maté lectures on trauma and addiction, and talking about samskaras with Rex, I realized that there isn’t a prescription that I can give you.
There's no fancy equipment required, but there also aren't any shortcuts. If you’re looking for peace, you’ll have to come to understand the nature of your mind. While you can and should call upon the support of your teachers, support groups, your medical team, etc., svadhyaya is largely work done on the Self by yourself.
Grab a pen
Journaling is a great way to practice svadhyaya. At first, this may not feel like yoga, and it may not feel like you’re doing much of anything, but the power comes from the habit.
When you write, I encourage you to take the filter off your words. All day long we walk around fulfilling expectations and wearing masks. You’ll get to the samskaras a lot more efficiently if you toss all the artifice.
Your writing may not yield an obvious revelation, but over time, you’ll start to notice patterns. You might catch yourself dancing around what you really want to say. I’m not suggesting to go barreling full force into the discomfort, but sometimes you can tell you’ve spotted a negative samskara when whatever you’re writing strikes a nerve.
When that twinge of unease hits, refrain from judging it. Instead, you’ll want to sit with it. When it happens to me, I say in my mind, “Ah, I see you.” Then I have a cup of green tea, and I watch it. I watch it like I watch US Women’s Soccer, which is to say that I’m invested, but I'm also not in the stadium. You may realize that you have to watch the replay a couple of times before it really makes sense. You might have dust off the screen to see the picture more clearly.
As I continue to practice, I’ll get through all the pangs of avoidance and shame, until I can look squarely at the samskara. As a heads up, there can be a whole lot of mental detritus to wade through to get to it. If that happens to you, just know that the effort of peeling back the layers is worth the challenge.
Pull up a cushion
We can’t talk about the art of noticing things without bringing up meditation. When we sit, we create an environment in which we can see the nature of the mind.
The effects of meditation can be subtle. You’re not really trying to uncover anything about yourself during the meditation. The point is to train yourself to become the observer of your thoughts.
After building a meditation habit for a while, you'll start to notice the spaces between your thoughts.
Then, one day you'll be put into a stressful situation, and instead of erupting into some preset behavior pattern, you'll see the pause between the stimulus and your response. It can take a long time to get to this point, but getting here can help you disrupt the habits caused by your samskaras. The benefits of meditation stretch far beyond this, so even if you don't notice what I just described, I still encourage you to meditate.
Freedom pose
Something incredible happens when you identify a samskara that's been holding you back. It loses a lot of its power. We're not discounting whatever happened to us in the past, but we are shifting what happens within us now. The samskara you see ceases to be a shadowy puppeteer controlling your thoughts and actions. Suddenly, you’re Dorothy pulling back the curtain on the wizard.
When you can see these things for what they truly are, it gives you a chance to find healing. Maybe your practices buy you the split second of clarity that disrupts a destructive thought pattern. Perhaps you'll be better able to advocate for yourself. There's a lot of potential in this work.
Wherever your biography has carried you, I hope you'll be able to incorporate some of these practices into your yoga. I wish you healing and wellness. Even though I'm on the other side of the country, I'm right next to you on the path doing the same work.