When you see something once and then notice it repeatedly, some call it "synchronicity" or a “download.” Others say it’s the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon or cognitive bias in action. When “Your gifts are your responsibilities,” jumped off the pages of two books I happened to be reading last week, I started seeing it everywhere.
What gifts?
Your gifts are your responsibilities, I scribbled in my journal. Without missing a beat, a voice followed up with, Well then you must not have too many things to worry about because you don’t have any gifts.
Long before I started practicing yoga, that thought would have gotten cozy there in the crook of my mind. Thankfully, the practice develops skillsets to spot these insidious players in the mental sphere. No sooner had the self-defeating thought sent forth its arrow, when something deeper kept it from landing. That’s not true, it said to me.
The reassuring words came from the witness consciousness, a.k.a. the observer. When we meditate, we strengthen this aspect of ourselves that can bear witness to the arising and passing of thoughts. When you practice, it’s not the thing blurting out whatever pops into your mind. It’s the thing noticing the thoughts and saying, “Hmmm… I see.” It’s holding ground while the monkey mind goes careening all over the place.
The observer has an incredible knack for spotting malarkey. If I’m really going off the rails, witness consciousness interjects before I get myself into trouble. (Maybe you have noticed this in your own practice as well.) It’s my key ally in getting through life and living in recovery from my eating disorder.
It was the observer that disrupted the pattern so that we could think about what gifts are today.
Achievements are not gifts
What I was experiencing wasn't original. I'm guessing a few of you might have had similar thought patterns. I'd made the all too common mistake of confusing net worth and CV with my self-worth and value as a human being.
We live in an achievement-based culture. Many of the things that are considered praiseworthy are quantifiable. Who has the highest grades? Who’s making the most money? Who has the fanciest car and the biggest house? From the moment we’re born, we begin the process of what Ram Dass calls “somebody training.” We’re handed expectations based on our gender, our culture, our socioeconomic background, and our family structure.
Being oriented toward achievement isn’t necessarily terrible. It spurs motivation and elicits productivity. When you work hard and succeed in what you’re doing, it can feel really incredible. "Somebody training" can enable us to be skilled in our work so that we can make things run smoothly or create positive change. That’s not so bad, right?
This issue arises when achievement-obsession smothers our gifts. Sometimes we end up wearing a suit on the outside that doesn’t match who we are on the inside. There’s a Les Brown quote that sums what happens if we don’t access our gifts:
The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or be determined to carry out their dream.
Les Brown makes his point well, but I wonder if it's more than fear or a lack of follow-through that has people taking their potential to the grave with them. I’d wager that some of us don’t even know what our gifts are. Some of us walk around thinking we don't have any.
Seeing souls
One of the most refreshing things about being part of a community like Union Yoga is that the playing field is level. We get to see each other when we aren’t wearing our titles. It doesn’t matter what “somebody training” you have. The teachers, the nurses, the stay-at-home-parents, the skilled workers, the service members, the cashiers, the volunteers, the retirees, the scientists, the unemployed and underemployed, and all the people in recovery come to practice. We all show up in some combination of athletic-wear-pajamas and roll out our mats.
We chat a little bit before and after class, and then for 60-75 minutes, we work on ourselves together. We all wonder if the teacher is really going to make us hold that pose for one more breath. We all catch our minds wandering and have to return to our centers. Every single one of us has a clumsy moment every once in a while and we all hope nobody saw it.
When we’re in class, I think we really have the chance to be around people on a soul level if we want. There’s no forced interaction because we don’t have to talk. We’re just there figuring out this being thing. (Side note: After having the opportunity to practice with all my friends after so much time in solitude, I can safely say I’d rather figure it out with all of you than by myself any day.)
There’s an inherent value in everyone in the space that’s completely separate from their quantifiable achievements. We can see the significance of the other souls in the room, and in turn, we can be seen as human beings, not human doings.
My inner roommate tells me lies
At the beginning of all this, I told you that some part of me claimed I didn’t have gifts, but the observer in my mind knows it’s not true. Now it’s my job to figure out why that was the first thought that popped into my head. That’ll be my practice. I won’t obsess over it, but now I know there’s a part of me at odds with what I know to be true.
I have seen this truth as a teacher, and I have felt it so strongly these days as a student. How else could seeing the faces of my friends in a yoga class on the other side of the country elicit so much joy? Without doing anything other than being themselves, my fellow students had this effect. They didn't have to try. They just showed up, and that was enough.
The truth is this: Every single human being has gifts. When you came into being, you brought with you things that only you could do. Maybe your unique abilities fit within the traditional model of achievement, and maybe they don’t. Whatever the case, when you recognize those gifts, you can add something to the world. Perhaps without realizing it, you are and have always been equipped with a luminous presence that is so valued and so needed.
You are enough
Now it’s your turn to ponder the question. Soften your eyes, take a few intentional breaths, and ask yourself, What are my gifts? Notice what happens. Observe where your mind goes first. If the question leaves you with more questions, see where they go.
Many of us can rattle off our gifts easily. We already know what our responsibilities in this world are. For a number of us, What are my gifts? will feel like an affront. I always find it easier to see the gifts that others have than to find these things in myself. If that’s your story, then your next “advanced yoga pose” is the same one we’re all working on together: connecting with your true nature. Remember, it isn't just what you do. It's who you are that can serve as the heart of your gifts. No personal power is too humble. It takes people with many aptitudes to make a world, after all.
Nobody is going to grade you on this exercise, but I’ll take off my student hat and put on my teacher mantle for just a moment here. The only answer that is not acceptable in this exercise is, I don't have any gifts. Please check again. You absolutely do. I can say it as certainly as I can tell you the sun will rise.
What are your gifts?